


Unexpected

by angelsandguns



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23175637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandguns/pseuds/angelsandguns
Summary: What you though was a bad case of food poisoning turns out to be a pregnancy with Ben Solo's child. How will Ben react to the news? Will you even get the chance to tell him?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

Something was _wrong_. 

You’d been sick before, but, you’ve never felt like _this_ …something just felt off.

You were nauseous almost all of the time and you’d begun to anticipate the daily vomiting spells, which at least provided relief of the nausea, of only for a little while. The fatigue was almost overwhelming some days and you were barely able to get through basic training; people were beginning to notice. Today, you decided, this has been going on for too long and enough is enough.

  
You needed to go back to the medbay. 

You’d gone earlier when the symptoms first started and they tested you for any plausible illness, but all the tests came back perfectly fine. The droids assured you that you must’ve eaten some bad bantha and you just needed to rest, but you’d had food poisoning and it never lasted this long and it just didn’t feel like _this_. But, you figured they were right. They knew best after all. 

Maybe you just have a bad reaction to bantha.

You never typically would eat bantha as it was usually something you’d turn your nose up at, but the other morning, the overwhelming craving for a bantha burger came over you. And so you had one. And now you felt like bantha shit. 

“Hello, Mistress Y/N!” One of the nurse droids greeted you. “Are you feeling any better?”

You shook your head. “No, and I think you need to do some more tests. This isn’t food poisoning.”

“Well, I suppose we can do some more tests that we didn’t before.” The droid led you towards one of the beds. You laid on the semi-comfortable mattress with whirring machinery over your head.

“There are a few that we didn’t think would apply but could match your symptoms.” 

You nodded, staring at the ceiling.

The droid bustled around bringing various machinery over and typing things into datapads. You waited anxiously, trying to control your brain from going through all the possibilities. 

“We need you to stay still for all the testing,” a different droid next to your bed said. You tilted your head in question before realizing that you were fidgeting your legs nervously. 

“Oh, right, sorry,” you apologized and willed your legs to stop moving. 

You’d never been a fan of going to the doctors, now more than ever considering something could actually be wrong. 

You took a deep breath. By the Force, you would make it through this. 

A circular machine went over your body, starting at your legs and stopped moving at your abdomen. The scanner wrapped around all the way under your cot and began to make a whirring noise that signaled it was scanning. 

After a few seconds, it beeped and pulled away from you. The droid went over to check the results and appeared to stare at it for longer than seemed necessary. The droid gestured for another nurse droid to come look at the screen. 

“Is everything alright?” you asked after what felt like five minutes of silence. 

“Forgive us mistress, but we didn’t realize that Jedi could have sexual relations so we didn’t initially—“

“They can’t—I’m not—,” you broke off and shook your head. “I’m sorry, what are you saying?” 

“You’re pregnant.”

You shook your head and couldn’t help scoffing at the prospect. “I…I’m what? No, that’s not possible.”

The droid looked offended. “I assure you our tests have a hundred percent accurate—“

“Well, there’s a first time for everything. The test is wrong,” you cut off the droid.  
You regretted taking that tone with the nurse; you were never usually one to be snippy with droids. But, there was a time to apologize and there was a time to prevent yourself from panicking and right now you were doing everything in your power to control your emotions before they became overwhelming. You took a few deep breaths and tried to center yourself as Master Luke had taught you. 

The nurse complied and brought the machine over your abdomen once more and you heard the familiar beep indicating it was done. The machine was pulled back and the same two nurses came over to check the results. They both looked over at you and then back at each other, seeming hesitant of what to say. 

“What does it say?” you asked keenly.

“Positive for pregnant.” 

“N-no, that’s not…” 

But even as you started to refute the results, your feelings betrayed you and you knew that the droids were in fact right. You were only vaguely aware of your l shaking hand instinctively going over your womb as you began to accept it was really true. 

“How far along am I?” you heard yourself ask. It didn’t feel like it was you asking though; you felt separated from your body like you were watching the scene from afar. 

“Almost four weeks.” 

You sighed. The day Ben had come back from his mission. 

The nurse droid had told you it was going to fly in some prenatal tabs for you and you nodded numbly, not really listening. Your ears were ringing with all the thoughts that were going through your head. 

Before the nurse could close the door behind you, you grabbed its shoulder. The droid whirled around to look at you. 

“Yes, mistress?”

“I trust you’ll keep this confidential,” you said. 

“Of course. It is in our programming to only relay medical information at the patient’s request,” it answered and you gave it a small smile. 

“Oh, and I’m sorry for being snippy with you earlier, this is just…a lot to take in.”

Considering you could be expelled from the Jedi Order for this, yeah, this was a lot to take in. Perhaps Master Luke would take mercy since this child would be his nephew’s, but maybe that would make it worse. 

“No apologies are necessary,” the droid replied and whirled back into the room. You continued on to leave the medbay and pushed past the exit doors. 

“So, what’d they say?” Ben asked, his large figure appearing out of nowhere. You reached for your belt, which was lightsaberless, luckily for Ben, before realizing who it was. 

“Blast it, Ben! You scared me!”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Ben apologized but could help the small chuckle that bubbled up his chest. 

“You’re lucky I don’t have my lightsaber on me,” you snipped and Ben rolled his eyes.

“One,” Ben started and grabbed your arm to bring you behind the building of the medbay, “you should always have your weapon on you. Two, you wouldn’t have been able to get it out in time.”

As soon as you were out of sight, he looked around cautiously and, before you could reply, brought his lips down to yours, capturing you in a fervent kiss. You couldn’t help but lose yourself in the kiss, but to be fair, you hadn’t had any real alone time in, well, a month. You let his tongue slip into your mouth and you reveled in the taste of him. You realized how easy it was to completely lose yourself in lust with him. 

No wonder you were pregnant.

Your breath hitched at the thought, but obviously not for the reason Ben thought. He groaned deeply and you could feel his smirk against your lips as his hand brazenly cascaded down the small of your back. You reluctantly pulled back and luckily you could blame your quick breaths on the kiss.  
He stopped his hand just above your ass and rubbed small, soothing circles. 

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“Mm, I can tell,” you joked. “But, Master Luke could catch us at any moment—“

“He’s in his hut reading Jedi text,” Ben reassured you. You felt his irritation prickle in the Force at the mention of his uncle and you couldn’t blame him as their relationship lately has been rocky at best. You cringed at the thought of adding this situation to both their plates. 

“Well, what did they say?” He asked, pushing his irritation down. 

“Hm?”

“The nurse droids, did they give you a new diagnosis?” 

Now that you were discussing your health, Ben’s anxiety had flared and you could feel it coming off him in hot waves. 

You sighed and shut your eyes. If you were being honest, Ben was the last person you wanted to see right now. Not because he wasn’t comforting, on the contrary, you wanted to throw yourself into his arms and tell him everything…but you couldn’t, and that was the problem. You needed time to come up with a lie, to center yourself in an attempt to hide your feelings.  
Right now, you needed to relax or Ben was going to know something was wrong. You pushed yourself away slightly, worried he’d be able to feel your heart desperately trying to burst out of your chest. 

“Uh, well no…They took a few tests and they’ll let me know tomorrow, but I’m thinking they were right and it really is just a bad case of food poisoning.”

Ben could sense you were lying, you knew he could, so, for once, you were grateful for the wave of nausea that came over you. You gripped your stomach as it lurched and you went off a few feet away from him so he wouldn’t see you like this. But, of course, Ben instantly rushed over to your side and pulled your hair back and out of the way. Blast him for being a gentleman. 

“Sorry,” you apologized and wiped your mouth. 

“You don’t need to apologize, sweetheart. I think I should talk to the droids—“

“No!” You grabbed his arm and pleaded with your eyes. “I just want to go to my hut…please.” 

Ben looked at you skeptically but, respected your wishes and put his arm around you to walk back to the huts. 

It had been nearly a week since you found out the truth and you knew you needed to tell Ben the truth and fast. You were going to start showing through your robes soon and you could no longer lie about food poisoning. No one had questioned you when you said the nurses recommended you take it easy for a few days but that could only last so long before suspicions rose. 

But, you were _scared_. This would be the end of the line for you, for both of you. You know Ben would follow you if you were banished from the order; he wouldn’t let you be alone and it doesn’t hurt that Luke hasn’t been very encouraging about his training lately. But, you didn’t want to be the reason he had to abandon becoming a Jedi, because even for all his complaining and drifting away, you knew Ben wanted to make Luke proud as much as you did; he wanted to be a Jedi. And Luke’s disappointment was something you dreaded almost most of all. The thought of his face after hearing the news gave you a whole new wave of nausea. 

But you couldn’t lie and say that the thought of running away with Ben wasn’t appealing. Selfishly, you let yourself smile at the thought of you and Ben settling down with a toddling child with big, black hair. You both could teach this child the ways of the Force in your own way, no pressure from Jedi or Sith looming over their shoulder, and Ben would no longer live with the pressure of trying to conform to the way of the Jedi. You could both be happy.

That night you dreamt of a small head with big, black, scruffy hair and a life of your own. Your paradisiacal visions were interrupted by a feeling of pure terror and you instantly jolted up in your bed. You only thought of one thing while running out of your hut: Ben was in trouble. . 

By the time you got to his destroyed hut, it was too late. Ben had already fled and Master Luke was knocked unconscious in the rubble. 

_Oh no_


	2. Chapter Two

You had run away that night.

Correction, you had _fled._

The temple was burning, you felt no life signs inside, and Luke was underneath the rubble that remained of Ben’s hut. After assisting him out of the rubble, he told you an unbelievable story that ended with this all being Ben’s fault. He said Ben had just snapped, that he was just coming to check up on him and Ben suddenly turned on him, bringing the hut down on top of him. Maybe the other students would have believed this tale, but not you. It didn’t make any sense and even if it did, why would he kill the other students? Your brain was scrambling to make any sense of this situation, but you couldn’t. You just needed to be away from the death, fear, and misery. 

R2, having been woken up from his nightly charging, rolled up to the rubble and began beeping questions at both you and Luke, but the droid barley got anything out before you were running. You thought you heard Luke call after you, but it could’ve been your imagination. You could barely hear over the blood pounding in your ears.

You ran towards the shipyard, quickly spotting a fighter that you knew you’d be able to fly. You weren’t the best pilot by any stretch of the imagination, as Ben liked to tease you for, but you knew this fighter had easy steering and packed a working hyperdrive. 

You just needed to get off this planet, get away from Luke and his lies and away from the corpses of your friends.

Ben was gone, there was nothing left for you there.

You powered up the fighter and pulled back the joystick to get yourself in the air. Through clouds and over tree lines you went, until finally you had left the planet’s atmosphere and you were welcomed by the quiet emptiness of space. It’s only then, when you stared into the vast unknown, that you felt it, the overwhelming sadness that was threatening to leave you debilitated. 

Against your will, a sob rocked through your chest. You had no idea what you were doing. The next time you left that planet you were expecting it to be with Ben. You weren’t expecting to be alone, with no idea where Ben had gone, with the awful words his uncle had said about him banging around in your head. You gripped your stomach as you remembered another thing you were clueless of how to handle. You let a single tear fall as you realized that you would have to raise this child alone. For the first time since you had met Ben, you felt truly and unequivocally alone.

You desperately pushed down these feelings, knowing you couldn’t let loose the tidal wave that would destroy any and all sanity you were holding on to. Not yet. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and numbly typed in coordinates into the hyperdrive, coordinates of the only place you could go, the only person who you ever could go to besides Ben. 

Leia. 

The fighter’s control panel said the hyperdrive would bring you to Leia’s home in three standard days, which, unfortunately, left you with a lot of time alone with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. It also didn’t help that your hormone imbalances only increased these negative emotions. 

Kriff. Hormones. Your prenatal tabs. 

You sighed as you realized you left nearly everything behind, leaving with only your lightsaber on your belt. You searched around the fighter, suddenly realizing that a lack of food and water could prove problematic in a three day hyperdrive trip. Luckily, there was a small ration kit that would be enough to last you just barely three days, but that was all you needed. Hopefully, your strange cravings wouldn’t kick in and your pregnant brain wouldn’t ruin this for you. 

It hadn’t even been a week since you found out you were pregnant, and already so much has changed. The father of your child is M.I.A, your ex-master claims he was almost murdered by said father, and your fellow classmates are all dead. 

You tried again to reach out to him through the Force, but felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. It hurt to not feel him on the other end of your connection as you always had since you had met him. It felt cold, forlorn, and it nearly broke you down to tears. 

All you had to do was go three days without letting your grief overwhelm you, that shouldn’t be so hard, right? You’d learned how to center yourself from a young age and surely you could keep your grip until you saw Leia. 

By the time you had arrived at Leia’s, your cheeks were red and raw from wiping tears away and your head felt as though someone had stuffed cotton into it. 

“Y/N?” Leia asked, coming out of her house as soon as the fighter’s access port opened. 

Seeing her brought a whole new wave of emotions. 

“Leia,” you croaked and, before you even knew what you were doing, you were falling into her arms. Her familiar earthy aroma and force presence surrounded you and you welcomed it gratefully. Leia soothed you and guided you indoors, letting you sob into her robes. 

“Luke told me what happened,” you heard her say and your head snapped up to look at her. Her eyes looked as though they too had shed many tears and you were close enough now to see the dark circles sitting below them. You doubt she had slept since Luke had contacted her. 

“B-but, he couldn’t have!” you blubbered, tasting tears. “Luke wasn’t telling the whole truth, I could _sense_ it and you know Ben would never!”

Leia sighed, eyes tired. She brought you over to the couch and sat you down next to her. 

“I don’t know what happened at the temple, but I also sensed Luke wasn’t being entirely truthful. At first, I thought he was just upset and that was clouding his Force presence, but I could feel that he was trying to deceive me…To save his own skin perhaps.” You could feel the anger coming off Leia but it was a tired anger, an _exhausted_ anger. You suspected she wasn’t just angry at Luke, but also herself.

You were relieved that Leia believed you and you weren’t going to have to argue with her about her own son. But, this still didn’t get you any closer to the truth of what really _did_ happen. You believe in your heart that Ben would never do what he was accused of, but if not him, then who? And where had he gone? 

Mad as you are at him, you know Luke would never do something that heinous; he loved all of his students.

“I suppose you haven’t heard from Ben since that night?” Leia asked, not sounding very hopeful. 

You frowned. “No, I’ve tried reaching out to him but it just feels like…”

“Nothing,” Leia supplied and you nodded. 

“Nothing.” 

The two of you were quiet for a minute. Leia held you as you silently wiped your tears away with your sleeve. You knew there was no point in being inconspicuous about it, she already knew you were crying, but old habits die hard and you had learned from a young age that showing emotions made you look weak. And if you thought Leia viewed you as weak on top of everything else, you might break. 

You focused on the sound of Leia’s heart beating in her chest and closed your eyes, wishing this was all just some awful nightmare.

“Do you want some tea?” You heard Leia ask, distantly. You nodded numbly and she gripped you close one more time before walking off to the kitchen. 

You wish you would’ve said no after you realized how much Leia was truly holding you together; you now felt cold where she had been. You let your hand drift over your abdomen, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt more tears rush to your eyes. An unexpected feeling of contentment radiated from your womb and into you. You wished you could hold the growing child, tell them everything was going to be alright, that you were never going to let anyone hurt them. 

You realized what you really wanted right now was for someone to hold _you_ and tell _you_ those things. But, the only person you truly wanted to do that right now was not an option. Nobody else would be able to make you feel whole right now but him.

 _What are we gonna do little guy?_ You asked to the tiny bump. 

You heard Leia’s footsteps approaching and you reluctantly pulled your hand away from you stomach, frowning as the warmth fell away.

She handed you a warm cup that smelt of Tarine leaves and sat down next to you with her own cup. The two of you sat in silence for a minute, letting the tea calm both of your nerves. 

“I should’ve never sent him away,” Leia sighed, breaking the silence. 

You didn’t say anything. You knew it wasn’t Leia’s fault, but you agree that Han and Leia should’ve kept close to Ben and not sent him to train with Luke. He had confided in you that he didn’t think his parents truly loved him, that they were scared of him and sent him away to no longer have to deal with him, and the darkness fed on that resentment and torment. You tried to assure him that he was wrong, but he wouldn’t listen to reason. You often wondered if things would’ve been different if Ben had stayed with his family, maybe he wouldn’t have been drowned by his feelings of abandonment and self-hatred, maybe he would’ve had a chance to feel truly loved.

An awful thought that you had been avoiding for the past few days finally surfaced in your mind. 

_What if Ben had fallen to the dark side?_

You made the mistake of gripping your abdomen anxiously and it caught Leia’s eye. As she pulled back to look at you, you quickly pulled your hand away and crossed your arms across your chest, attempting to obstruct her view of your stomach. You weren’t showing enough that anyone besides yourself would be able to notice, but under Leia scrutinizing gaze, you were worried she would somehow know just by looking. 

_There was no point in hiding_ , you thought, _she was going to find out eventually_. But you weren’t _ready_. You needed more time. But, when Leia’s eyes looked up to find yours, you knew it was already too late. She knew. 

Fresh tears came to your eyes. 

Maker, you were so sick of crying. 

“It’s Ben’s, isn’t it?” Leia asked slowly.

You nodded, knowing there was no point in denying. “I was going to tell him that morning…”

“Oh, ladalum,” she said and bundled you back into her arms. You gripped onto her robes and let yourself sob unabashed into them. You wanted to apologize for soaking the fabric with salty tears, but Leia shushed you before you could even say it and ran her hand through your hair. You instinctively laid your hand over your abdomen once more, only this time Leia’s hand joined you, resting atop yours lightly. 

At least you knew as long as both you and Leia were around, nothing was going to hurt this child. 

The two of you sat there for what felt like forever. You wrapped in her arms and both hands laid protectively over your womb. Both of their warmths filled your hallow chest with love and you knew some of the tears you shed were from that feeling as well.

Finally, as you felt as though you had no more tears to cry, your sobs quieted. Your breathing calmed as you relaxed into Leia’s hold. You honestly believed that Leia was the only being that could leave you with a sense of calm during this time, no one else had that ability. 

“Well, I’ve always wanted a grand baby, but this was not the situation I had in mind.”

You actually laughed at that, a nasally laugh, wet with tears, but it was the first time you’d smiled in three days so you decided to be grateful. Leia chuckled softly as well and you pulled back to look at her. 

“What are we gonna do?” you asked, voice cracking.

“We’ll take it one step at a time. Together,” Leia promised and gave you a small smile. You returned it and once again flew into her arms for a hug. 

After nearly passing out in Leia’s arms from exhaustion, she nudged you a little and you groaned at being conscious again. Leia chuckled softly.

“Come on, I have a room for you,”

You let Leia guide you into one of the rooms and you didn’t miss when she paused outside of Ben’s room for a second too long to be an accident. She sighed and continued down the hallway and you made sure to not look into the room. 

“We kept this room for you, so you’d always have a place to stay if need be,” she said, opening the door and revealing a decent sized room to you. Your chest was full of gratefulness as you surveyed the room with a few familiar aspects. Lavender colored curtains that you recognized from Leia’s old room hung in front of the window, transforming the moonlight and casting the room in a violet hue. Your heart caught in your throat when you saw a familiar starfighter poster hanging in the room. Ben had gotten it for you. 

Leia followed your gaze and rubbed soothing circles on your back, guiding you to the bed. You were grateful, as you didn’t think you’d be able to will your feet to move right now.

You vaguely remember the feeling of a kiss on your forehead before drifting off.

That night was the first time you’d truly slept in three days. Sleeping in a cockpit chair isn’t exactly one of your specialties, especially with all the thoughts bouncing around in your head, keeping you antsy and awake. It must’ve been the exhaustion that finally got you, because Maker knows you still had those thoughts plaguing you, but you were able to drift off, if only for a few hours. But, of course, you were awoken before you could truly catch up on the sleep you’d missed. 

Your body froze up at the familiar feeling. 

_Ben_. 


	3. Chapter Three

“What exactly did you feel?” Leia asked after you nearly broke down her door at the crack of dawn. 

She wrapped a pink robe around herself and followed your pursuit around the house. You couldn’t stay still in the state that you were in, because staying still is doing nothing and doing nothing is not helping Ben.

“All I know is it was Ben, okay? And he felt so scared and lost and I don’t think he even meant to reach out to me. It was just a very strong feeling, but it was _him,_ I know it,” you insisted as you went into their kitchenette, Leia trailing behind you.

“Y/N, wait,” Leia said and whirled around to face her.

You knew you must look crazy, eyes puffy, dark rimmed and wide with desperation, hair a giant tangle, and you were so jittery you couldn’t even stand in still for one minute. But, you finally had a real lead on Ben and refused to lose him again.

Leia sighed. “This could be a trap.”

“A trap by who?”

Leia hesitated but you didn’t have the patience to wait for an answer. 

“And even if it is, Ben still needs our help.”

You helped yourself to a breakfast biscuit, the crumbly bread at least providing you with some energy, but you knew you would inevitably throw it up. You saw some ration packs in the cabinet and looked at Leia, the silent question evident on your face. She nodded and you shoved some into your bag.

“I know, all I’m saying is maybe we should think before we go in blasters blazing—“

“You can stay here and think, but I’m going after _your_ son,” you snapped.

She recoiled away as if you had physically struck her and you instantly regretted what you had said. But, why did it seem that you were more interested in saving her son than she was? It was making you so _angry_. 

“Look, I’m sorry I snapped, but the more time we waste—”

“Y/N—”

“ _What?_ ”

“Han will be here soon, we can take the Falcon,” Leia said. You didn’t realize how jittery you finally stopped moving.

Grateful tears pricked your eyes and you threw your arms around her. You didn’t miss the fact that she said, “we” as opposed to “you”. You knew if there was even a chance that Ben was close to falling to the dark side, you would need the whole Solo family to help pull him back. He needed to know he was wanted and loved, especially by the people he felt sent him away.

“Thank you, Leia.”

“But, we need to have a plan,” she said. “And you need to tell me exactly what you felt.”

“Well, I had this dream, but I don’t know if—“

“Anything can be helpful,” Leia said, urging you to sit down at the kitchen table.

You sat down across from her. “It was mostly flashes. Ben was with these men in strange masks and they said they were going to Minemoon the next day. Then, it shifted to what I guess was Minemoon and a couple of my classmates were there…I forgot they were off world.”

“They were off world the night the temple was attacked?” Leia asked and you nodded.

“I completely forgot until now,” you mused. Three classmates were off world and only two were in your vision, but you tried not to think about what that could suggest.

“Anyway,” you continued before Leia could ask anymore questions, “they were fighting the masked guys, but I don’t think Ben was sure of who’s side to fight on—but I watched Tai die with Ben just standing there…I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.”

You broke off to wipe a stray tear. Tai was always kind to you and he helped you to center yourself many times when your emotions got too overwhelming. You were grateful to him that he didn’t treat Ben like he was a ticking time bomb, and instead a human being who was suffering. Tai is the last classmate Ben would ever harm. You don’t think he would be capable of harming even Voe, who was always horrible to everyone.

“Then what happened?” Leia pressed gently.

“And then Voe was dead…and Ben was walking away. Then, I woke up and I could finally feel Ben again! But, the connection was full of fear and pain. I’ve never felt it so dark before,” you said, lip trembling. “And then…and then he just shut me out again.”

Leia sighed and reached forward, grabbing your hands. 

“You know Ben has always struggled with the darkness inside of him—“

“No,” you cut her off before she could finish her thought. 

You refused to believe he would fall to the dark side and yeah, maybe that meant you were in denial in which case, fine, you were in denial, but you knew the man you fell in love with. Of course you felt the darkness raging a war inside of him, it’d be hard to miss, but you also felt so much light inside of him, so much goodness. 

“There’s good inside of him.” You didn’t know who you were trying to convince, you or Leia. 

“I know,” Leia agreed. She didn’t say anything more, obviously realizing the conversation would go no where. 

You weren’t able to say anything before you heard a key being shoved into the lock on the front door. A few seconds later, Han came through the door. 

“Y/N, Leia! I didn’t expect either of you to be up this early,” Han greeted you gruffly. Old isn’t the word you would use to describe Han, and you know he’d ring anyone’s neck who said otherwise, but he was definitely _older._ His hair and beard were almost completely grey and wrinkles were starting to appear around his eyes and on his cheeks, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was that permanent cocky smirk he wore. 

You and Leia exchanged a glance, wondering who should tell him. 

“Y/N thinks she has a lead on Ben,” Leia ended up saying. Han’s smirk fell and he looked between the two of you as if you both had two heads. 

“Are you kidding? What are we just sitting around for? Let’s go!” Han said, turning to the side to yell, “Hey Chewie, stop unloading we’re about to take off again!”

“Han—“

“We’re going to get Ben!” Han shouted back in response to Chewbacca’s grumble and you heard a distant triumphant roar. 

“Han, we need a plan before we go,” Leia said, sounding annoyed already.

“We have a plan, getting our son back.” 

You grinned at him, taking this as your cue to stand and join him in the doorway. Leia sighed harshly and looked down at the table in exasperation. She had always said whenever you and Han were together it was like there were two of you and you could practically hear her saying it now.

“We can’t just go in without knowing what we’re walking into! Y/N only has a vague idea of where he’ll be—“

“He’s going to be at Minemoon tomorrow I know it,” you insisted, locking your pleading eyes with her. “Leia, please, we’ll make a plan on the way, but we need to go get Ben.”

Leia looked from you to Han and then back to you and sighed. 

“Well, I’m obviously outnumbered, so I guess I’ll get my things,” Leia grumbled and shuffled back into her room. 

You turned to Han, grin returning and he wrapped an arm around you. 

“C’mere kid,” he said and pulled you in for a tight hug. You relaxed into it and hugged him back, breathing in his scent. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” you nearly sobbed into his chest and you felt him rub your back soothingly. 

“I’ve missed you too, kid.” 

Han pulled back and gave you a once over. 

“Are you wearing my shirt?” he asked, just now realizing. 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you said, looking down with a chuckle. “Leia let me wear it to sleep.” 

Han glanced back at the shirt and huffed. He didn’t say it, but you could feel adoration coming off of him. 

“Well, go put on some real clothes so we can go rescue my son.” 

Han hung back while you went to the Falcon, no doubt in need to speak with Leia privately. 

You’d borrowed some robes from Leia and they made you shift uncomfortably with every step. You’d been wearing the same standard robes for months while training with Master Luke and it’s not that Leia’s robes weren’t nice, it’s just that they just felt off. At least there was a belt for you to put your saber. 

You sighed as you made your way up the ramp, pulling at the pants that were squeezing your thighs. You weren’t prepared for the surge of memories that appeared when you entered the curved tunnels of the Falcon’s walkway. You hadn’t been here in years. 

Last time you were on here, Han was teaching Ben to fly her. 

_“No, Ben you’ve gotta—“_

_“I’ve got it, dad!”_

_“No, you don’t because—“_

_The two men cut off as the ship began to shake violently and Ben’s eyes looked around in panic._

_“Move over,” Han had snapped gruffly, leaning over Ben to flip some switches, bringing the ship back to a steady cruise. He turned back to Ben in irritation and the younger boy had shrunk under his gaze._

_You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you at the sight of both of their faces. Han turned his stern face onto you now and your smile instantly fell. You cleared your throat, trying to play it off and your eyes flickered to Ben who just smirked at you in response. When Han has first scolded him, you could feel his embarrassment and shame rolling off his shoulders, but at the reminder of your presence he relaxed and you could feel him reaching out to you. You gladly reached back, sending feelings of encouragement his way._

_“If you two are done Jedi flirting,” Han said and your cheeks grew hot. Han didn’t know much about the Force, but he had come to recognize when you and Ben were communicating through it. You instantly felt Ben retreat from you and watched the tips of his ears turn pink._

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a mighty roar and you turned to see a wall of fur. 

“Chewie!” you greeted in excitement and he didn’t hesitate to wrap you in a bone crushing hug, lifting you in the air. 

“I missed you too, buddy,” you choked out and Chewie, hearing your strain, reduced the pressure on your ribs and set you down. He apologized and laid a large hand on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” you said with a chuckle, placing your much smaller hand over his. 

He asked you what the plan was.

“We’re going to get Ben on Minemoon, a moon off of Mimban.”

He asked you what he was doing there, but before you could answer, Han’s voice rang out. 

“We never should’ve sent him away,” Han grumbled, stomping his way up the ramp with Leia in tow. 

“Who was going to train him then, hm? You?” Leia asked. 

“Did you ever think to ask him what he wanted? Maybe he didn’t want to be a Jedi!” Han rounded on Leia. 

Chewie wailed loudly, objecting to their arguing. 

“Stay out of it!” They both screamed in union and Chewie grumbled in annoyance. 

“Did _he_ not want to be a Jedi, Han? Or did _you_ not want him to?” 

Chewie gave a low whine and looked to you desperately. 

“Guys—“

“We never should’ve trust Luke with him, that little—“

“Han!” you shouted and he whirled around to face you, face angry until he realized it was you, then it seemed to soften. “Can I talk to you? Privately?” 

Now seemed as good a time as ever to have this talk, you thought, and at least it was a good reason to get them to stop fighting. Han sighed and turned back to Leia. 

“This isn’t over,” he said. 

“It never is,” she mumbled before making her way to the cockpit. 

You started walking towards the crew quarters, angry steps behind you letting you know he was trailing behind. He looked at you expectantly when you closed the door behind him. 

“What’s up, kid?” Han asked. He sounded exhausted already and you briefly wondered if he had gotten any sleep since the news either. 

“I, uh, there’s something I need to tell you…” 

“Well, come on, then, spit it out.” 

You’d be offended by his words if you didn’t already know this was Han’s way of being encouraging. 

“I’m—I’m pregnant,” you said, bringing your hand down to cup your abdomen. You watched as Han’s lip twitched into a surprised smile. 

“That’s great news!” he exclaimed until he noticed you weren’t joining him in his joy. “Or not?”

“It’s, uh, it is good news. It’s just…it’s Ben’s,” you admitted softly. Han’s smile faltered and his face showed an emotion you couldn’t place; you don’t think he understood what he was feeling either. 

Every second he was silent felt like an eternity to you and you were losing your mind at not knowing what was going on inside of his head. 

“I’m gonna be a granddaddy?” he asked quietly after a minute, as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, yeah, you are.” 

He instantly wrapped you in his arms and you happily returned the hug. You could finally feel all the emotions coming off him in hot waves. Disbelief, fear, happiness; all those emotions were swirling around in his head, fighting for dominance. Han pulled back after a minute and met his eyes with yours, staring at you intently. 

“We’re going to find him, okay?” 

You smiled and a tear escaped your eye, falling down your cheek, and Han reached forward to wipe it away. You leaned into his warm, calloused hand and he gently stroked your cheek with nothing but love in his eyes. Those were eyes that told you that you would never going to truly be alone.

Ben must’ve gotten those from his father, you realized. 

You nodded. “Okay.” 

“I was wondering why Leia was asking me to pick up those hormone pills. Pregnant neighbor, my ass!”

“Speaking of Leia, lay off her will you? She’s just worried about him too,” you said, voice stern. Han nodded and let his shoulders sag in defeat. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he agreed. “I hate it when you women are right.” 

You giggled. “Unfortunately for you, that’s pretty much always.”

Han rolled his eyes but still wore a giddy grin from the news. At first glance, Han doesn’t seem like a sentimental man, but when you truly know him and learn his mannerisms, (Han-isms as you and Leia liked to call them) you’d come to understand what a loving man he truly is. He rumpled your hair on his way out and you heard the hiss of the door opening. 

“Chewie! I’m gonna be a granddaddy!” he instantly shouted, the words echoing throughout the whole ship. You heard a roar of excitement and heavy footsteps coming your way. 

You snorted. You should’ve seen that coming. 

After vomiting very lady-like into a waste bin in the crews quarters with Chewie holding your hair back, you pulled yourself together in the refresher and went to rejoin the others. You were glad Han and Chewie were already privy to your little secret as it would be hard to explain the constant vomiting spells otherwise. 

On your way to the cockpit however you were caught off guard by the resurgence of your and Ben’s connection.

_Y/N…_ you heard him as clearly as if he was right next to you.

“Ben?” you asked, frantically looking around to no avail. He wasn’t here. 

And then, as quickly as he let in you, he shut you out again, leaving you with a hole in your chest. You wiped away a tear that had managed to escape for eye and you pulled yourself together. You needed to focus.

Han and Leia appeared to have made up if her sitting in his lap was any indication. Maybe the prospect of them both being future grandparents brought them together and made them realize how petty their feud really was. You smiled when he placed a silent kiss into her braided hair before he heard you come in.

He must’ve seen you out of his peripherals because a second later his head turned to you and he rolled his eyes at your triumphant smile. Leia turned to you and gave you a grateful smile. 

“So, where is it we’re going again?” Han asked, tapping Leia’s thigh as an indication for her to get up. She complied and settled for standing next to him, a steady hand resting on his shoulder. 

“Minemoon,” you repeated for what felt like the hundredth time today. “It orbits Mimban in the Circarpous System.” 

Han tapped coordinates into the system, beeps sounding at each press. You flopped down in the chair behind him and closed your eyes, letting out an involuntary sigh. You still hadn’t slept well in four days now and that made the daily pregnancy fatigue even worse. Your head was pounding and you felt gross and clammy from recently throwing up. 

“Why don’t you rest, Y/N?” Leia suggested and you opened your eyes. 

“I’ll rest when we have Ben back,” you said with a tone of finality. No one dared argue with you, even as the bags under your eyes had become dangerously dark. 

Even though you had assumed a position of stubborn consciousness, arms tightly crossed around your chest, you barley remember the Falcon groaning into hyperdrive as you finally lost consciousness just after that. You fell asleep to the feeling of Ben’s steady Force signature and the dream of him coming back to you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who has come this far! I know the wait times have been very variable but this chapter was very hard to write both because endings are hard and my life has kind of been crazy the past few weeks. But, this is finally the last chapter before the Epilogue! I hope you all enjoy this and please comment your responses! I love hearing from you guys! 
> 
> You can find me at Tumblr @benscaligraphyset

When you woke up, you had just come out of hyperspace and Ben's steady signature was strong and flaring in the Force. Instinctively, you reached down to hold your womb, seeking comfort in the growing Force signature inside you.

"Ah, just in time, kid," Han commented, turning to look at you at the sound of your movements. He flipped a few switches on the control panel and one above him. 

You nodded, breathing hesitantly. You had to be careful; if Ben was close to the edge, teetering between light and dark, you had to be sure you weren't the one to help push him off. Stories of his grandfather and grandmother rushed through your head, but you quickly shook them away. He wasn't his grandfather and you knew that. 

Leia turned to look at you, sensing your turmoil. She reached over and place a comforting hand on your thigh and you gave her a small smile, covering her small hand with your own and allowing her to send an energy of tranquility your way. 

You wished that you had woken up sooner so that you would've had time for a quick meditation session.

The Falcon cut through the moon's atmosphere and you could finally see the black landscape below. If you looked a little further you could see angry storm clouds rolling in. 

"Wait, Han!" you exclaimed, going to the viewport to get a closer look. "I think that's my classmates' ship."

"The ones that were off-world?" Leia asked and you nodded. 

You closed your eyes and reached out towards the ship, feeling Voe and Tai's presences on it. The familiar ache in your chest returned when you realized you couldn't feel Hennix, who was also off-world at the time. 

Han landed the Falcon next to the ship, the familiar creaking of the landing gear ringing out. Only you and Leia reacted to the sound, cringing slightly.

"Let me go to him first. If we all show up together he might get spooked and run," you said, putting your saber on your belt.

"We're his parents," Han objected and you sighed.

You didn't want to tell him that Ben was convinced his parents hated him and that them showing up with no warning would only escalate the situation. You didn't have the time or the heart to tell either of them.

Selfishly, you think you're the only person he would truly listen to right now. The only person he, hopefully, hadn't felt betrayed him. 

"Please, he trusts me."

Before Han could object again, Leia cut him off with a hand on his shoulder.

"Let her go," she said. You nodded your thanks to her and she repeated the notion. 

"Besides, I won't be alone," you said, glancing at the ship. You weren't sure of Voe's reasoning for being here, but you trusted Tai had Ben's best interests at heart. 

You waved your commlink. "I'll comm you if I need you." 

It was already starting to rain when you made your way down the ramp of the Falcon. 

You made the small walk over to their ship, sensing conflict from inside. Just in case, you tightened your grip on your saber. Suddenly, the loading ramp opened and you saw Voe's seething face on the other side of it. She locked eyes with you and her face fell even further. 

"For kriff's sake," she groaned.

"Nice to see you too, Voe,” you quipped. 

"What is she doing here?" she asked accusatorially into the ship and the bald head of Tai appeared in your line of vision shortly after. 

"Y/N?" he asked, looking at you as if you were a ghost.

"Hey, Tai." 

"Y/N...we thought you might've died in the temple fire. You weren't answering any of our comms!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. Voe continued to look on uninterested. 

"I was worried you were gone, too, until I had a vision last night of us all on Minemoon. Tai, you have no idea how relieved I am to see you," you said, rainwater mixing with your tears of relief. Tai came down the ramp quickly, nearly slipping on the wet metal, to come and wrap you in a large hug. You gladly reciprocated, throwing your arms around his neck and burying your face into his robes, relief pouring out of both of you. Your Force presences swirled together once more and you reveled in how his instantly soothed your anxious one. 

"I told you she wasn't dead," Voe snipped, walking down the ramp and closing it behind her. 

The rain began to pick up and you and Tai pulled away from each other. 

"And thank you for sounding so pleased about that fact," you snapped, walking around Tai to get closer to her. You felt the need to keep an eye on her as if she was prepared to pounce at any moment. Honestly, it felt like she _was._ Voe was never known for her people skills but she seemed more unhappy than usual in reaction to your presence here—she seemed almost disappointed.

Voe stepped closer as well and stared you down as if daring you to make the first move.

"We don't have time for any of this," you commented, turning back to Tai. "We need to find Ben." 

"You're not coming with us," Voe's voice commanded from behind you. Your wet hair slapped the side of your face as you quickly whipped around to face her with a scathing look of pure malice.

"Excuse me?" You hissed.

"Sorry, honey, you're not gonna like it very much if we have to kill your boyfriend."

You took a warning step towards her and thunder boomed. "No one is hurting him."

She scoffed, looking around you to see Tai. "Come on."

Voe started to leave and you saw red. Now you knew why she was so bothered by your presence here. 

She _wanted_ to kill Ben.

You clenched your fist and let your rage fuel you, finding strength in it and letting your anger make the decision felt easy; it felt right. After a second, you heard her begin to gasp for air and she turned to look at you in shock, scratching at her throat in vain. She reached for the lightsaber on her belt but you quickly tossed it away with a flick of your hand and it clattered into a puddle a few feet away.

"No one is hurting him," you repeated fiercely. Voe coughed and fell to the ground still gripping her throat, her knees splashing on the wet ground. 

Lightning struck in the distance and you grinned. You felt as though the lightening storm was egging you on to continue, _fueling_ you to finish the job.

"Y/N," Tai warned. 

"Stay out of it, Tai."

You enjoyed as her face began to change color and you could feel her consciousness draining away. 

"Y/N," he insisted more fiercely this time, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

You turned your glare onto him, making a noise that could only be described as an animalistic growl. You'd never made that noise before. 

He took a step back with wide, panicked eyes. The fear in his eyes made you realize what you were doing and you looked down to your clenched hand in surprise. Her Force signature was merely a flicker by the time you finally released her and she began coughing vehemently, the violent hacking nearly bringing her to vomiting. 

You wished you could say you felt bad for her, but you didn't. She was going to kill Ben, what were you meant to do, just let her?

You turned back to Tai, eyes wide. "Tell me what is going on," you demanded. 

"We tracked Ben here through the Force, but we're not sure what he's doing here," Tai said, looking over to see if Voe was okay.

"You're nearly as crazy as he is," you heard her wheeze behind you 

"Voe—" Tai began, but it was too late. You instantly turned on her, waving your hand to knock her unconscious through the Force. You didn't trust yourself to keep your rage in check if she was still talking.

You looked over to see Tai's disapproving glance, but you didn't care. "Look, you can give me a lecture later but we need to save Ben. So, you can either help me carry her back to the ship or we can leave her here on the wet ground."

The latter option didn't seem like such a bad idea. Tai obviously disagreed and sighed, leaning over to pick her up bridal style and bring her to the ship, not noticing her discarded lightsaber. You quickly picked up the saber and clipped it to the opposite side of your belt as your other saber.

"I can sense life forms that way," Tai said after returning pointing in the opposite direction of the ship. 

"Me, too," you agreed, nodding. You felt Ben that way.

You and Tai ran towards the source, stopping when you came across a large gorge. You reached out and felt that the lifeforms the you had been sensing were below. Of course, you could've just opened your eyes and looked down to see the obvious fighting below. The masked men from your vision were attacking the workers below. The flicker of fear and hesitance in the Force was nearly hidden by all the aggression and excitement, but you felt it and, following it to its source, brought you straight to Ben's fearful face. Your heart shattered at how utterly terrified he looked and you instantly went to jump into the opening but were stopped by someone grabbing your arm.

"What are you—"

"We need a plan and your emotions are all over the place right now," Tai said and you desperately looked back to Ben.

"But he—"

"I _know_. But just jumping in with no plan isn't going to—uh, oh," Tai broke off and looked down the ravine and, following his gaze, you saw Ben looking up at the two of you. You felt his fear spike and he frantically searched around, making sure none of the others had noticed your presence. 

"Well, I say the plan is you go after these guys and I talk to Ben," you said with a smirk and Tai gave a hesitant chuckle.

"I guess I don't have a choice," he said, looking to Ben who was getting ready to jump. 

"I'm glad you understand." 

Tai gave you a nod, igniting his lightsaber and you gave him a reassuring nod in return before he leapt towards the fight. Where Tai went, Ben left, and suddenly you were face to face with the father of your child.

Dangerously dark circles sat under his eyes. "You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you." Your voice cracked and you reached for his hand, heart sinking when he retreated. Rainwater flowed down your cheeks and you were grateful for it covering any potential tears. 

"Ben—"

"This is my path now," Ben interrupted, trying his best to sound sure but you could sense his hesitance.

"But, it doesn't have to be," you insisted. ”Come home, Ben. Come back to me."

"I have no home anymore," he said, turning away from your pleading eyes. You could feel that he wanted to come to you, his presence brushing against yours but then immediately retreating when you reached back. It was like all the progress you had made with getting Ben to open up to had been destroyed and you were back to square one. He was back to the Ben who kept all his fears and self-hatred locked in a box and threw away the key. You already knew Luke had done something awful, but what could he have done for Ben to have regressed so far in his emotional growth. 

"What did Luke do to you?"

Ben flinched away from you and you felt his fear and rage spike again. Your heart shattered at how small he looked right now, like a beaten child fearing his father's wrath. He must be terrified of whatever Luke did and, worse still, that no one would believe him. 

"I'll believe you," you said. "I know Mas— Luke was lying about what happened…tell me what really happened."

Ben hesitated, eyes boring a hole into the wet ground below him. 

"It doesn't matter. It's over now."

"Of course it matters! Ben, whatever he did it wasn't your fault."

"That's not how anyone else will see it," Ben snapped, turning his seething face to you, his anger like the electricity in the air. As if on cue, lightning struck behind you, illuminating his stricken face.

"But, I will,” you promised. "Rain or shine, I'll always be with you, my love, remember?"

No matter how alone Ben felt, no matter how mad at his family he was, he always found solace in the fact that you would always be with him. Whenever you felt Ben slipping into a bad place you'd hold him and place sweet kisses into his hair, letting him know he never needed to fear being without you. Nothing he could do could drive you away from him. 

You watched as his face softened a bit and went back to looking at the ground. You could feel his resolve slipping the more you spoke. 

"I love you," you whispered and his anger seemed to fade at least a little bit, but you felt despair rushing in to replace it.

"It was early morning," he began hesitantly. "He came into my hut while I was still asleep and his rage woke me up….and then I heard him ignite his lightsaber. When I turned I saw that he was prepared to plunge it through me. He was going to slay me where I lay…his own nephew," he hissed through clenched teeth.

You stared at him in shock, eyes wide and piercing. You knew your old master and Ben's relationship was rocky, to say the least, but you never expected it to escalate to attempted murder. But, even if you couldn't sense it through the Force, you would know he was not trying to deceive you. 

Your anger for your former Master grew tenfold and, for a second, it almost consumed you, but you quickly shook away that train of thought. Not now.

"I parried the blow," Ben continued, lip trembling slightly against his will, "and, when I realized I had no other option, I brought the hut down on top of us. I thought it killed him, apparently not." Even though he acted disappointed at his uncle's survival, you could tell that he didn't want him dead as much as he was leading on and, maybe he was a little relieved that Luke had lived. You didn't dare say anything, only sending light waves of reassurance his way and looking at him with eyes that, hopefully, told him it was okay to continue.

"I didn't kill them, Y/N," he said, his voice wavering. "There was a storm, I—I don't know what happened. I tried to save them!" His form was beginning to crumble and you resisted the urge to surge forward and hold him, not wanting to make him retreat again. "But, it was too late, and then Voe, Tai, and Hennix returned but none of them believed me."

You were both quiet for a moment, the sound of the fighting from below the only thing you could hear. You could sense Tai's confidence and determination as he continued to fight and you took that as a sign he didn't need help. 

Ben’s anger, once as sharp as his saber, had lessoned, but you knew it was just waiting to return at the first sign of your rejection. 

"I believe you." 

Ben kept his eyes down, not reacting to your statement.

You hesitated. "And your mom believes you."

His lost, desperate eyes flew up to find yours. He looked like he didn't believe you but he desperately wanted to and you couldn't say you blamed him. Luke and Leia's connection in the Force was one of the strongest you'd ever felt and the idea that she would believe anything over her twin was doubtful, to say the least. 

You let down any walls you had, letting him inside your mind and letting him feel how earnest you were being. You knew he noticed when you felt his presence lightly brush against yours, barely going inside your mind but enough to know that you weren't lying.

"She knew Luke was lying. Your dad flew us here, desperate to get you back. Ben, they want you to come home."

You saw hope flicker across his face before fading away into nothing. "I can't go back now."

"You mom believed you over Luke, her twin brother, and you don't think she will still love you no matter what you've done?"

Ben just blinked at you, lost and afraid.

"Your dad wants you to come back and wishes you'd never gone to train with Luke, to begin with. Chewie _misses_ you. They all miss you, Ben. They never wanted to send you away."

At that, he scoffed and looked away bitterly. You understood, after all, they _did_ send him away, but you were trying to explain that you thought they did what they thought was best for him without sounding like you were defending their wrongdoings. Kriff, this would be so much easier if Ben would just _let you in_.

"I know, they did send you away, but, now they know that was wrong of them. Now they just want their son back, Jedi or not, they just want you back."

You paused and watched his face. He was clearly conflicted, eyebrows knitting together in thought as he went back and forth between accepting and denying the information given to him. Once again, you wished his walls were down for you and you could feel exactly what he felt and be able to comfort him the way you use to, the way he needed right now.

"I know you feel like everyone looks at you and all they see is a legacy but that's not true. You're your own person, Ben, you're not your grandfather or your uncle or any other Skywalker or Solo. When I see to you all I see is _you_." Ben looked at you with melancholy, yearning eyes. "And, yeah, maybe some people see your family when they look at you but not me, not your mom, not your dad, not Chewie, not Tai, we all see _you_. And we love what we see. You've struggled with your darkness, sure, so have I, but all that matters is that your light still shines brightly through despite that."

Ben remained silent and you couldn't tell if his eyes were wet or it was just the rainwater going down his face. Your only solace was that his anger was no longer a dark cloud surrounding him.

"Come home with me, Ben," you pleaded, barely above a whisper.

He swallowed harshly and you knew now that he was holding back a sob. "I _can't_."

"Yes, you _can_. You can come back with me—with _us_." 

You took the risk and grabbed his hand, placing it softly over your womb and it was like the piece you'd been missing had finally come back to make you whole again. The Force swirled around you, his presence and yours mixing together along with an entirely new, but familiar still, presence. The new Force signature purred at the feeling of your presence being back together and you were nearly knocked over at how powerful that feeling was. Ben's eyes widened and his grip on your abdomen increased, enough that you could've let go and his hand would've stayed, but you kept your hand resting over his own anyway. 

Ben looked at you, a million questions in his eyes but you knew he only cared about one. You nodded and you weren't sure what emotions caused it, but tears flooded to your eyes. 

"You-you're pregnant? When? How? I—" He couldn't decide which question to settle on first. 

"I found out a week ago, love. I—I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner—" Ben surging forward to bring his lips to yours cut you off, not that you minded.

You threw your arms around his neck and combed your fingers through his damp hair. He pulled you impossibly closer and your lips slipped against each other, rainwater pouring down both of your faces. It was a chaste kiss, but it was enough to let you know that you had succeeded in helping Ben through the threshold to the light. He pulled back and you could feel all of his love for you once more, his walls back down for you, and now you knew your tears we're out of happiness. He bought his hand up to caress your cheek and you instantly leaned into it, bringing your own hand up to cradle his. 

“Y/N…” he started but hesitated. 

"I know." You already knew everything he wanted to say and more. 

"You'll never be alone again, I promise. We can leave this all behind; no more Jedi, no more Sith, we can just…be. Together.” You placed your hand over your womb again and Ben copied you, a shocked smile twitching onto his face as he looked at your intertwined hands. He looked up, searching your eyes for any indication this was all a dream but you nodded your head in affirmation. This was real. You were real and you were never going to let him go again. 

He kissed you again and you melted into it. You knew you still had a lot to work through, but at least for now you knew he was with you.

"Oh goody, you two made up." Not even Voe could ruin this moment for you and you barely turned to look at her scowling face. "Now are you guys going to help or are Tai and I going to clean up your mess all on our own?"

_Kriff,_ Tai. 

You had completely forgotten about everything else that was going on and the sound of the fighting below finally registered in your brain. You looked to Ben, bright brown eyes full of apologies and regret.

Kriff, you just wanted to leave everything behind and hold him until the felt nothing but love, but you had all the time in the world for that. Right now, you needed to help your friend. You knew he was thinking the same thing as you both nodded at each other, pulling your sabers from your belts. You threw Voe’s saber into her awaiting hand and jumped into the pit before you. 

All of you together were able to get the upper hand in the fight and make the remaining Knights flee. If Ben hadn’t been on your side you think the fight would’ve ended a lot differently, but luckily you had one of the strongest Force wielders you knew to fight with you. 

Voe and Tai walked back with you to both of your ships, Voe going inside their ship without so much as a look back. You shook your head in disgust and disbelief at her.

“She has every right to be mad at me,” Ben commented and you pulled away to look at him. 

“Why would you say that?”

“I killed Hennix,” he admitted miserably.

“It was an accident Ben, you didn’t mean to,” Tai insisted but Ben just looked to the ground. 

Tai explained to you that Ben had gone to help Voe after accidentally sending her over the cliffside but Hennix, in a rage, went to attack Ben, throwing his saber at him. Of course, Ben deflected the blade hurling towards him and it went flying back, killing Hennix.

“Hey,” you said, grabbing his chin and bringing his face up to look at you. “You were only defending yourself. Besides, you have a lifetime to make up for it, okay?”

Ben nodded solemnly and Tai came over to the two of you. His eyes met yours, and knew he wanted a moment alone with Ben. Nodding, you squeezed Ben’s hand reassuringly and took a few steps away, reaching out to let Ben know you were still there even if he couldn’t see you. 

The two talked for a few minutes and you were grateful, as Tai always had a way of calming the turmoil in Ben’s head. Not better than you, of course, just differently. Tai opened his arms for Ben to fall into if he wanted and hesitantly, Ben did and Tai held the other man for a moment, sending waves of calm through the Force and you smiled, being affected by it as well. 

Tai pulled back and looked deeply into Ben’s eyes. “You’re a good man, Ben Solo.”

“Thank you, Tai.”

⁂

You waved Tai off when their starship took off into the sky and turned to look at the Falcon. 

“It’ll be all right,” you reassured, squeezing his hand and slowly bringing him closer. “I’ll be right here next to you.”

The Falcon doors opened with a hiss and Ben’s shoulders tensed up. Leia’s tear-stained face was the first one you saw and she barely waited for the ramp to touch the ground before rushing towards Ben to wrap him in a tight hug. It took him a second, but he eventually wrapped his arms around his mother, shoulders heaving with the sobs that rocked through him.

“Oh my boy,” you heard her say, rubbing his back soothingly. You felt as though you were intruding on the moment and turned to look at Han, who was clearly on the verge of crying but didn’t want to admit it. He turned to you and gave you a grateful smile to which you nodded. You would save Ben a million times over if you had to. 

After a minute, Ben pulled away from his mother to look at his father. 

“Hey, kid,” he said with a coy smile. 

“Hey dad,” Ben sniffled and his dad didn’t hesitate to pull him into a hug as well. Ben still had a lot of weight on his shoulders, but you were delighted to feel some of that pain evaporate as he realized his parents didn’t get rid of him and actually _wanted_ him back. 

“Thank you, for bringing my son back,” Leia said to you and you shook your head.

“I just helped him to be who he truly was."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope his reaction was everything you hoped it was! Thank you for sticking with my through this and I can't wait for you guys to read the epilogue!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! :) Kudos and comments are appreciated!   
> I can be found on Tumblr @benscaligraphyset


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